I do! Have you ever heard of yoga poses with names as innocent as "Tortoise" and "Sleeping Tortoise"? Don't be fooled. Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana are anything but peaceful slumber for me. They're gateways to a battleground within, where I confront my deepest fears and limitations.
Forget the images of effortless serenity you see on social media. Yoga, at least for me with these two poses, is a different beast entirely. It's a relentless exploration of my physical and mental edges, a courageous dive into the unknown.
My teacher's hands become my guide, coaxing me deeper, revealing a vulnerability I never knew existed. The uncomfortable sensations that arise are not pain, but a primal urge to fight or flee. It's a stark reminder of the defenses I've built, the patterns I cling to. Yet, in those moments of intense discomfort, with nowhere to run, I discover an unexpected gift: surrender.
One memory particularly stands out. My teacher was guiding me deeper into the pose, my heart hammered like a drum, and my mind screamed, "Get me OUT of here!" The feeling was unbearable, a physical manifestation of my inner turmoil. But amidst the chaos, a quiet voice whispered, "Let go. Just let go. Surrender. Don't resist."
Hesitantly, I yielded. And in that moment of surrender, the intensity began to subside. Bit by bit, the discomfort eased, replaced by a profound sense of calm. It was a shocking realization: I had been the architect of my own misery.
Don't get me wrong, the urge to escape still arises every time I face these poses. But that quiet voice persists, a constant reminder to let go, to surrender a little deeper each time. It's a continuous dance between resistance and acceptance, a practice forever in progress.
Now, you might be wondering, "If it's so uncomfortable, just skip the pose, lah!" Problem solved, betul tak? Well, these poses are part of the Ashtanga Primary Series. In Ashtanga, we don't get to pick and choose – we practice the entire sequence, embracing both the easy and the challenging. This practice has become a powerful metaphor for life: we can't always choose what comes our way, but we can choose how we respond.
Yoga isn't about achieving the perfect Instagram pose, or contorting your body into a human pretzel. It's about the journey, the process of exploration. The Yoga Sutras beautifully capture this essence, describing asana (posture) as a balance between "sthira" (steadiness) and "sukha" (ease). It's about finding that delicate equilibrium between effort and effortlessness.
It's important to remember that my experience is unique. These same poses might be a breeze for someone else, while they'll find their own nemesis on the mat. The beauty of yoga lies in its universality – it has something for everyone. And within each challenge lies immense opportunity for growth.
Each time I come out of these poses, my body and mind are in a different space—body lighter, a quiet moment of deep reflection and a humbling experience. The practice of yoga is about cultivating courage, resilience, and the unwavering spirit to keep showing up on the mat, no matter what pose life throws my way. After all, the greatest growth often happens outside our comfort zone, and sometimes, that zone looks suspiciously like a giant, uncomfortable turtle.
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